Friday, June 14, 2013

Private Prophetry

obama, obama jokes, nsa, prism, muslims, mosques, terror, spying, hope n' change, hopenchange, stilton jarlsberg, conservative, tea party, newspaper

To calm the many people who are upset that the government is using invasive methods to collect anti-terror information from every source in America, the Whitehouse has made it clear that this is not the case - because they're not collecting data from mosques.

That's right - in the push to uncover radical Islamic acts of terror before they take place, the government has decided that political correctness forbids having the FBI focus attention on those places radical Islamists are most likely to be.

Mind you, the government used to create sting operations within mosques to see if anyone was interested in blowing American innocents to hell and gone. But there was a serious problem: the program worked, disrupting many jihadist terror plots. So the ACLU and the Council on American-Islamic Relations (one of those "apolitical" organizations the IRS actually favors with tax-exempt status) sued the FBI to create a "hands off" policy - which is ironically the same policy practiced by amateur bombmakers if they can't tell the red wire from the blue wire.

The FBI is now on such a short leash (a choker chain that formerly belonged to Barack Obama's alleged dog, Bo) that following the Boston Marathon Bombing, the bureau didn't even take the security camera pictures of the Tsarneav brothers to local mosques for possible identification...out of fear that it would seem insensitive and (even worse) fear that it would reveal that Muslims really were behind the terror.

And so, the government continues to mount the largest and most expensive intelligence gathering operation in history, excluding only those people most likely to be the ones they're looking for.

Which raises two important questions: why then is the government spying on the rest of us and why, in the bloody aftermath of Ft. Hood, does the government of Barack Hussein Obama still place a higher value on political correctness than saving American lives?

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Fulsome Prism Blues

obama, obama jokes, whitehouse, nsa, prism, two girls one cup, privacy, spying, tea party, conservative, stilton jarlsberg

Today's cartoon will be hilarious to some and completely baffling to others (bless your gentle hearts) - but its real beauty is that this is a fully interactive cartoon which not only provides a humorous perspective on Barry and the NSA's Prism data collection efforts, but will actually cause their alarm bells to go off if you dare to Google the name of the video in panel one! (Which, seriously, we don't recommend that you do. We'll just say that it's one of the grossest things in the universe.)

Yes, the simple and entirely innocent act of trying to get an online joke figured out will cause your personal PRISM profile to be updated to include the fact that you're a smut-loving, deviant coprophiliac. Which, frankly, might not be a bad idea because the computer algorithms will then also assume you must be a liberal, which will get you out of a tax audit at the very least, and might even bump you up a few names on any organ transplant lists you happen to be on.


It has just come to Hope n' Change's attention (though channels we're not currently free to share) that the NSA PRISM Profile Servers have been hacked and - until the system is patched - you can see the governments' personality assessment file on YOU based on a compilation of all their data sources!

All you need to do is visit the site at the link below. You don't need to enter any information, as it will simply read your IP Address and locate your personal file (note: proxy servers won't fool it).

WARNING: Hope n' Change has been told that you should remain at the site no longer than 30 seconds unless you actually hoping to attract attention. Additionally, we're told that it's legal to see your own file, but illegal to share it with anyone else as it is considered classified information.

Hope n' Change visited the site - and yes, the personality profile was frighteningly accurate. For legal reasons we aren't suggesting that you do or don't visit the site: the choice must be entirely yours. We just want you to know that the link exists (for how long, nobody knows) and that you might want to share the link (and warnings) with friends or skeptics on both sides of the political spectrum.

Monday, June 10, 2013

But Words Will Never Hurt Me

obama, obama jokes, nsa, prism, spying, scandal, tea party, conservative, hope n' change, stilton jarlsberg, hope and change,

Now that we're aware that virtually all of our communications are being monitored 24/7 by the Obama administration, it's not surprising that people are trying to think of how to present the most innocent (and non-patriotic) profiles possible in their emails, phonecalls, and Internet habits.

There are so many potential keywords (and words which can be misconstrued), that a lot of people are deciding that it's best just to avoid speaking aloud or writing about controversial topics like politics, liberty, freedom, religion, or the competency of Barack Barry Hussein Soetoro Obama.

Instead, Americans are wearing fixed (albeit nervous) grins when they talk about how great our deficit is, how terrific abortion is, and how outdated the Constitution is. Which is, after all, the actual goal of the NSA's PRISM program (at least as it is administered under Barack Obama): not to catch terrorists, but to make ordinary citizens afraid to speak their minds or seek the truth about abuse of government power.

But Hope n' Change would like to offer everyone a "good news / bad news" perspective...

The bad news is that if you're reading this, you're already on Barry's shit list and likely to be suffering government abuse in the future (if you're not already).

But the good news is that this frees you to speak up as long and as loudly as you possibly can. Which will be our plan until the black helicopters arrive.