Friday, June 21, 2013

Doucheland über Alles

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Having done enough damage in Ireland (he encouraged youths in Northern Ireland to stay peaceful, despite sharing his opinion that it is the Catholics' fault that tensions still exist), B. Hussein moved on to Germany in hopes of finding the huge crowds that appeared during his "apologizing for America" tour, as well as the expensive Greek columns which he accidentally left behind last time.

Sadly, he found neither. The crowd which assembled to hear Der Fükher was only 5,000 people (all that the president's team could hire on short notice) rather than the 200,000 Nazi descendants who gathered last time to hear Barry apologize for our nation's interference in World War II.

Still, the president pushed ahead with his speech, asserting that Climate Change is "the global threat of our time," and one which requires immediate action. This despite recent studies showing conclusively that A) the Earth hasn't gotten any hotter for the past 16 years, and B) a new study shows that manmade CO2 has virtually no effect on global warming.

All of which should affect policy IF the Earth's climate was really the issue. But actually, Barry just wants to shut down our nation's productivity and methods of alternative energy production (ie, fracking, oil shale, and nuclear) in order to speed our decline into third world status. Something which Europe, Russia, and the Muslim Brotherhood aren't exactly averse to.

The president also took the opportunity to repeat his desire to rid the United States of its troublesome and hugely embarrassing nuclear weapons, in hopes that every other nutjob country in the world would lay down its own arms and join the president for a beer summit, a chorus of Kumbaya, and perhaps a relaxing massage with a "happy ending" at Man's Country in Chicago.

All of which shows, in no uncertain terms, that this president is a freaking moron...and that Hope n' Change shouldn't write these commentaries when we've been drinking.

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Getting His Ire Up

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Yes, Barack O'Bama and his lovely wife, Shillelagh (Gaelic for "Michelle"), are living it up in Ireland for a couple of days and a few million dollars. He's attending the G8 summit for the critical purpose of being away from reporters asking about his legion of scandals, and Michelle and the girls are along for the critical purpose of burning through millions of taxpayer dollars to have lunch with Bono (really), look at harps in museums (really), and to tell anyone in Ireland who'll listen that "it's good to be home" (really).

The president also took time off from his busy schedule to give a speech to an audience of Irish teens, telling them to "stay peaceful" and lay off any Catholic versus Protestant violence - perhaps by converting to Islam. Okay, he didn't say that last part, but it's more or less implied at this point.

Following the summit in Ireland, the first family will be off to their $100 million African vacation (during which we doubt that Michelle will say "it's good to be home"). The trip formerly involved a safari, but it was cancelled when news sources learned that the president would be surrounded by snipers who would target anything dangerous that got too close - which is ironically the same policy the president has been applying to news organizations domestically.

Still, despite the huge expenses involved, Hope n' Change fervently believes that the first family's travel expenses are worth every sequester-pinched penny.

Unless, of course, they come back.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Home Cooking

Readers- No news-oriented cartoon today because I've given myself Father's Day off. If I was going to do a cartoon, it might have been about the Obama administration's proposal to bring Syrian refugees to the United States, and how screwed they'd be if they ended up in Chicago ("Welcome to Murder City!")

But instead, I've opted to enjoy a leisurely day with my family while sipping "coffee." Lots and lots of "coffee." Hope Father's Day was good for all of you, too, whether sharing time with family or simply enjoying good memories.   -Stilt