Friday, August 8, 2014

Marxist's Vineyard

obama, obama jokes, cartoon, political, vacation, martha's vineyard, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg

One of the very few good things about having Barack Obama continually committing the same offenses over the years is that Hope n' Change can occasionally recycle old cartoons (in the case above, from 2009).

And what better time to do so than when the president has declared that, in observance of "the fierce urgency of now," he's committing to an all-out multi-million dollar surge of kinetic leisure in Martha's Vineyard for the umpteenth time.

Tomorrow (which presumably leaves plenty of time for Barry to first solve the world's escalating problems) the Obama family will begin a 16-day luxury vacation, staying at a $12 million dollar estate where they can relax and contemplate the appalling evils of income inequality.  And what better place than an exclusive, well-fortified gated community to reflect on the folly of securing our nation's borders?

In all candor, Hope n' Change enthusiastically endorses anything that keeps the president away from the oval office for awhile, whether it's golfing with his unimaginably rich friends or dodging shrapnel as his wife rips into lobsters with her bare hands at a 5-star restaurant.

However, since it seems that the president has declared frequent vacations to be an absolute necessity of life, Hope n' Change is wondering why the government isn't making them available to everyone? Isn't it time that all citizens had access to an Obamacation without regard to pre-existing conditions like, oh, being broke and jobless?

Perhaps when a well-rested Obama eventually returns to Washington, he'll bring with him the new guidelines for this "Affordable Carefree Act." 

Assuming that the proposed bill is only the size of a travel brochure and has lots of pictures of beaches and bikinis, his fellow Democrats might finally read something to see what's in it.

From each according to their ability to pay,
To each according to their ability to target you with an audit.

Wednesday, August 6, 2014

News Cycle

obama, obama jokes, kerry, bicycle, bike, vacation, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, political, conservative, pink

Hope n' Change believes that the cartoon above illustrates the only conceivable reason that John Kerry put himself in the position of being photographed looking like a world-class dweeb at a time when it's critical to be projecting an image of American strength in the world.

We're not sure if Secretary Kerry's bike is an official "Hello Kitty" model, because every time we look closely at the picture our eyes fill with tears for our once-great nation. But perched atop the powderpuff pink girl's bike he couldn't look like more of a giant twinkie if he was shrinkwrapped in cellophane and had a rich creme filling.

And frankly, looking at the picture, we're not entirely sure if there's even a seat on that freaking bike, or if he just has a pole jammed up his butt (a condition he's grown accustomed to after most of his recent negotiation efforts).

The picture was snapped in Nantucket, and it's only with tremendous self-restraint that we're not turning that sentence into the beginning of an obscene limerick.

The photo, while compelling, may have broken too early to still command the news cycle on Saturday when Biking Barry heads off to Martha's Vineyard for two weeks of golfing, eating ice cream, wearing mom jeans, and generally mincing around while the world burns.

Vladimir Putin could not be reached for comment because, according to an official spokesperson, "he is laughing so hard he cannot breathe."

Monday, August 4, 2014

He's Going To Need a Bigger Dinghy

obama, obama jokes, cartoon, political, joe biden, nude, swim, skinny dipping, stilton jarlsberg, hope n' change, hope and change, conservative, jaws, ohio, water

According to the new book "First Family Detail," vice president Joe Biden enjoys swimming in the nude - much to the disgust and dismay of his female Secret Service agents, many of whom will never again be able to eat a vienna sausage.

"Little Joe," the appendage which is only a heartbeat away from being the leader of the free world, is frequently turned loose in the waters of the vice presidential residence in Washington DC, at Biden's home in Delaware, and other bodies of water which present a target of opportunity.

Sure, this sounds like no big deal - but consider this: on July 24th, Biden went to Ohio to give a speech. Now 400,000 Ohio residents are without drinking water because something (or someone) toxic got into the water supply. Coincidence? We think not.

Until further notice, residents are being told not to brush their teeth using the water, not to let children bathe in it, and not to let pets drink it. And considering that most pets spend a lot of their free time licking themselves, that says a lot.

Hope n' Change sincerely hopes that the veep will reconsider what he considers "see-worthy" in the future and don appropriate swimwear.

Until then, our hearts and support go out to the brave female Secret Service agents whose blood runs cold every time they hear Uncle Joe shout "Thar she blows!"

Secret Service agents shouldn't have to throw themselves on this.

BONUS: Barry's Birthday (From the Vault)

To celebrate president Soetoro's alleged birthday today, here are a couple of cartoons from previous years...