Friday, December 30, 2016

Rushing Roulette

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, russia, wikileaks, election, hacking, hillary
After repeatedly having his ass handed to him by Vladimir Putin for the past 8 years, Barack Obama decided yesterday that it was "now or never" to finally take strong action against Russia... whether Russia had done anything wrong or not.

Which is why, in reaction to the so-called "election hacking," Obama ordered 35 Russian diplomats (described by the White House as "intelligence agents") out of the country, closed a couple of domestic Russian facilities (described by the White House as "intelligence agencies"), and promised to unleash a cyber counterattack (described by the computer literate as "fat chance").

Unfortunately, despite requests from the Senate and House Intelligence Committees, Barry has failed to produce any compelling evidence that Russia was behind the Wikileaks document releases which revealed to American voters that the Democratic party, from Hillary on down, is populated by sleazy, bribe-mongering crooks, lunatics, and sex addicts. In fact, it's highly questionable whether any final intelligence analysis will even hit Obama's desk before he leaves office - making the timing of his saber-rattling highly suspect if not downright dangerous.

Mind you, Hope n' Change isn't suggesting that Russia didn't hack into the email servers of Hillary, Leon Panetta, and the DNC. Of course they did; the cyber-porch lights were left on, the cyber-front door was wide open, and there was a big cyber-sign on the porch saying "please don't steal anything while we're not home."

The secret keepers were, in the laughable words of James Comey, "extremely careless." Meaning neither Russia nor anyone else had to be extremely clever to steal documents.

But all of that being said, no evidence has been presented that it was Russia who gave damning but 100% truthful documents to Wikileaks. It could have been a mischievous high school kid or, our personal belief, a Democratic insider who wanted to save our nation from Hillary.

Which is why it's disconcerting that Obama, while still vacationing in Hawaii, has prematurely chosen retaliatory action against the only suspect who has a huge nuclear arsenal and pretty much no sense of humor.

Perhaps, before the big ball drops in Times Square on New Year's Eve, he just wants everyone (especially Historians) to think that after 8 simpering years in office his own balls have finally dropped.


Drink up, drive safely, and join us Monday for "2016 - the year in review!"

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Putting the POS in POTUS

obama, obama jokes, political, humor, cartoon, conservative, hope n' change, hope and change, stilton jarlsberg, israel, UN, betrayal, choom, pardons, guantanamo
Yes, it's an old cartoon - but it's never been truer.
Although Barack Obama has only days left in office, he's doing his best to make every one of them the worst possible ways. As a case in point, witness his almost unbelievable betrayal of Israel by failing to prevent the passage of a U.N. resolution which will do grave damage to our (ahem) former ally for years to come.

Even worse, Israel claims to have evidence that the Obama administration actually helped draft this sneak attack on Israel - clearly missing any moral insight from the recent visit of Japan's prime minister to Pearl Harbor.

Also in his busy, busy schedule, the president has been releasing prisoners from jail faster than Henry Ford churned out model-T's, recently setting a new record by granting 231 pardons in a single day - which is perhaps only a warm-up for setting more felons free in the coming weeks. But at least he's not dumping dangerous prisoners from Guantanamo on the world, right? Wrong! He's taking steps to transfer up to 18 more detainees before Trump takes office (only 4.5 of whom will return to battlefield mayhem and active terrorism, according to the government's own statistics).

But wait - there's more! To help assure that US relations with Russia are as bad as possible on his way out, Obama is about to announce plans to "punish" Russia for their alleged (yet entirely unsubstantiated) role in telling voters the truth about Hillary Clinton, thereby upsetting our precious national system of basing elections on catchphrases, lies, and genitalia. The president's retaliatory arsenal is said to include various harsh sanctions and "cyber-operations," including forcing Russians to use the website to get medical treatment.

Besides all of this active sabotage of the incoming Trump administration, Barry is also spending the waning days of his presidency ingesting large quantities of hallucinogens (perhaps with buddies from his Hawaiian "choom gang"). How else to explain his recent declaration that, had be been allowed to run again, he would have won a third term by beating Donald Trump.

Not because of any actual accomplishments, of course, but because "in conversations that I've had with people around the country - even some people who disagreed with me - they would say, 'The vision, the direction that you point towards is the right one.'"

That direction, by the way, remains unchanged after 8 years...although we're still unsure if it points to Mecca or Hell.